Tears and Pain #ROW80 and #WIPpetWednesday

October 15, 2014
Written by adrianjsmith

I’ll start with ROW80 since it’s far more quick to do. I did finally remember that other goal I wanted to tag onto my goals this round, and of course I remembered on Sunday evening. Anyway…here we go.

1. Write 1667 words a day.

Sunday – 0
Monday – 7282
Tuesday – 8202

2. keep up with all blog posts ROW80, WIPpet, Open When and add in 1 extra post a week

ROW80 on Sunday/Wednesday this week
WIPpet on Wednesday
Open When happened Saturday
Extra post = Cover reveal for Ruth!
3. Edit at least one chapter a week on something.

I edited chapters 3 & 4 of Unbound, and I’m waiting on them back from 3rd run beta so I can do another edit. Yay!

4. Crochet one round of border a week

I haven’t done this yet this week…perhaps Thursday

*****************

It’s WIPpet time!

I struggled with which excerpt to share this week. It is Halloween soon, and there’s some creepy things in this book. I’m going to be sharing creepy things I find for the rest of the month methinks. Math is kind of interesting this morning. This is from Unbound, and the only context you get is Faye is walking around a sketchy part of town.

From chapter 21, I give you 9 paragraphs.

9 = 10 – 1
21 = (4 x 5) + (2 – 1) + 0

All right, here we go, now that math is done!

The sweet iron tang glistened along her tongue as she imagined drinking the fine wine she loved and hated so much. Whatever it was, it was dead or very near death. She closed her eyes and sniffed again, trying to pinpoint a direction. If it was dead, she would taste—even if it was human. It would give her the stamina she would need to fight off Kirill and whatever his men had in store for her.

The tingles hit her heart, pulling together in a way she knew wouldn’t be good. She tamped them down, focusing on staying in her human form instead of becoming Tainted. It wouldn’t do good for strangers on the street to see her bare her teeth and scratch her way through a body. No, that wouldn’t be good at all.

There! She turned her body and faced East, the scent wafting to her and calling her in that direction. She opened her eyes and took off at a job in the direction she was being pulled toward. She crawled over the desolate of the desolate, curled up under boxes and raggedy old blankets, everything they owned of clothes layered on their bodies. Some gave her nasty looks as she stepped over their strewn about forms. Others didn’t even move when she stepped on a finger, and she knew those ones would probably be dead. But that wasn’t what she was smelling.

Making it to the middle of the street, Faye turned down an alleyway. Her eyes sharpened in the darkness, the tingles taking over her sight to give her better vision as she moved through the darkness in silent. For some reason none of the homeless were in the alley, and it gave her the shivers to think of why.

Spiders ran in the opposite direction, heading toward the exit of the alleyway. Mice followed suit, scurrying past her worn down tennis shoes and brushing up against her leg. Faye shook one or two off before clenching her teeth and pressing on through it. The air wasn’t as cold down here as it was out on the street. She stopped shuddering just as she hit the dead end.

Stopping again, Faye sniffed the air. She turned to her right and saw immediately where her nose had led her. Behind the dumpster, a foot lay out, bare and dirty. She pulled the metal canister away from the brick wall and watched as the body slumped over in the night. Bending down low to it, Faye put her nose into his hair and inhaled his scent.

The gurgling noise hit her ears before the smell of his breath did. Looking down, Faye saw his eyes blink rapidly in her direction. She cursed under her breath and shoved back from him, forcing herself against the wall. The man should have been dead. She didn’t have the time or the desire to bleed him dry.

Kneeling down again, she reached for his head and turned it in her hand. He had a gash across the top of his skull and down to his brow. Someone had hit him with something. Licking her lips, she pushed back the urge to take the energy she wanted. She didn’t need it. He was going to die anyway, but she didn’t need to feed on someone who was still alive. Had he just died—well, that would have been a different story.

“You’re in luck for tonight,” she whispered.

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33 Comments

  1. Ruth Nestvold

    Excellent word counts, good job!

    I really liked the twist at the end of this, and the way she tells him he’s in luck. 🙂

    • Adrian

      Thanks!! She’s trying not to be the monster she thinks she is and weird things like this happen sometimes.

  2. sirenarobinson

    Such an ethical vampire. I really like her a lot and I can’t wait to bug you constantly to send me chapters of this book. Vampires are right up my alley.

    • Adrian

      I’m almost done writing it. 4 more chapters to go!

  3. Kate Sparkes

    Love the description of what she’s feeling/sensing. Really well done.

    • Adrian

      Thanks!!

  4. Gloria Weber

    I love how the tracking really helps set up the scene. Just wanted to point out: “took off at a job” which I think was supposed to be jog? Or I’m being brain dead (totally possible).

    • Adrian

      Probably is. I don’t edit until I’m done writing a novel. Otherwise I won’t ever finish writing it.

      Thanks for stopping by!!

  5. ReGi McClain

    Ooo… I like this. It has a nice tingly sense of creepy to it, rounded out by the huntress-hunted dynamic that brings it up out of simplistic horror-land.

    Way the by, was “took off at a job” supposed to be “took off at a jog”?

    • Adrian

      Jog I’m sure. Thanks!! I enjoyed writing this scene a lot

  6. rachelalsowrites

    Great word counts! So impressive! 😀

    This snippet is so detailed and descriptive, I really enjoyed it!

    • Adrian

      Thanks!! And THANKS!!

  7. Xina Marie Uhl

    My heavens – such a great job on atmosphere in this excerpt! Love all the animal-like senses and the spiders and mice and the poor hurt guy with just his foot sticking out behind the dumpster! You have some mad scary skillz, woman!

    Excellent word counts, too. I’m jealous! I seem to creep along like a drunk turtle on my own stories, lol.

    • Adrian

      Awww thanks that means a lot. I wrote more when I get toward the end of a story.

  8. shanjeniah

    That was – eerie and gripping. I was really hoping she was going to get a good meal in…and yet, her relief and disappointment had me right there with her…

    I think you chose your excerpt well!

    • Adrian

      Thanks!! She’s not to fond of eating

      • shanjeniah

        I can’t say that I blame her, considering!

  9. booksbysmiles

    Oh! She’s a vampire! Had to read the comments before that completely sunk in, and now the whole ‘following a scent’ doesn’t make me think of a werewolf or something. Yaaaaay for creepy WIPpets in October! I loved this!

    • Adrian

      Lol I hope I can keep up creepy stuff through the month!

  10. Elaine Jeremiah

    This is gripping Adrian. You give a really good sense of what’s passing through Faye’s mind.

    I’m curious as to why exactly she won’t go for the blood of the dying man, how he’s important to the story and why the rats and spider were ‘running’ away from the scene.

    • Adrian

      haha he’s really not all that important except to show she won’t just feed from anyone and to show she still has issues with doing it even with a dying man. Faye is not your typical vampire at all…actually…damn can’t say that, spoiler. Anyway. She’s not your typical vampire is pretty much all I can say. She doesn’t enjoy feeding of anything, but she really doesn’t like doing it off humans. It’s an ethical thing. She thinks they’re equals, and sees feeding off humans as making them below her, on the food chain etc.

      • Elaine Jeremiah

        Ah OK. I can sympathise with trying not to give too much away lol! Sounds like Faye’s quite unique anyway… 🙂

        • Adrian

          Yeah well it’s like the number 1 secret of the book lol though I’m sure some people will figure it out before they get to the big reveal. =P

      • Elaine Jeremiah

        Well I haven’t worked it out yet – although I guess that’s partly because I’ve only read snippets of it! Mind you I’m one of those people who’s the last to figure out those sort of plot intrigues lol. 😀

        • Adrian

          Lol message me on FB and I’ll tell you. =P

      • Elaine Jeremiah

        OK – though I may wanna read it one day. 😉

        • Adrian

          Then don’t message me unless you want the spoiler. I can tell it in a way that doesn’t spoil the other half of it

  11. Kristen

    Vampires with ethics. Like! Great word counts, too – I look forward to seeing your progress updates next week! 🙂

    • Adrian

      It’ll slow down as I should be done with the novel writing by then. Thanks! Faye is kinda awesome in some ways.

  12. bevbaird

    Such a well written excerpt! Really pulled me in. Wanted more tho – I’m not usually a vampire-loving reader. Great word counts and goals achieved this week. All the best in weeks to come.

    • Adrian

      Aww thanks!! I’m not a huge vampire lover either lol.

  13. Amy

    This excerpt is so sensory, from the scurrying critters to her sharp senses. I just love the vivid detail.

    • Adrian

      Thanks! I think that’s why I love this one too