| I make it no secret that I have been to therapy in my past. I haven’t been to individual therapy since I was in college. Not for lack of trying. The last few individual therapists I’ve tried have been awful and so not worth my time or money. In fact, as soon as I confessed to one what I wrote and that I was not straight, she ended that relationship super quick. But here I am, in 2022, seeking therapy again. When I started seeing a therapist for the first time I was two years old. You might know where this is going. I was sexually abused pretty much from the time I was born until I was two and a half, when I finally had the words to tell my mom what was going on. I’ve been in and out of therapy since, depending on where the world took me, what phase of life I was going through, and what transitions I needed help with because of my past sexual trauma. Add in the trauma with the delivery from my daughter in 2018, and my husband and I began marriage counseling in early 2020, right before the pandemic shut down. We still attend weekly as it is a very slow process to untangle so much trauma in both our lives. Which leads me to 2022 and seeking out a new therapist in a new place. I have trauma, and even though I’m thirty-two years old and it’s been thirty damn years since my sexual trauma, I still need help. Trauma never goes away, and sometimes it rears its ugly head a little too much in ways we don’t want it to. The world of psychotherapy has made massive steps forward since I first saw someone way back in 1991. There’s actual trauma therapy now. I saw one of the first certified trauma specialists in 2008. Crazy, right? My marriage counselor suggested I look into Internal Family Systems therapy, which sounds so not like what it is. Google it. It makes so much sense! I’m like ohhhh I’ll try this out. It’s equally new. Finding someone who is actually certified in this type of therapy is NOT easy. But I managed it. I hope to figure out how to identify my emotions quickly and efficiently and then work on communicating them better. I really don’t want to dive deep into talk therapy or past trauma and this may just be the way around that. We’ll see. Wish me luck! |
Web of Lies – The Untangling
For the record, this brings me no pleasure to write. I had hoped and prayed that Adam Gaffen, who is a self-proclaimed writer of LGBTQ+ science fiction, mostly sapphic in nature, would be the one writing this and not me, but his attempt at it has been tepid, and I...
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