Authenticity of Masturbation #brokentaboos

I’ve read a whole lot of romance books in my life. It’s one of my secrets that I read and hardly anyone knows about. I tend to like romance over erotic romance and definitely over erotica, and yes there is a difference.

But sex wasn’t always acceptable in piece. It’s still not acceptable in a lot of pieces. I do write sex scenes. Not in every book I have, but I do write them when the story fits. Now, sex isn’t necessarily seen as something that’s bad any more in books. Not with the blast of Fifty Shades of Grey and books similar. In the last ten to fifteen years, writing and reading romance has become acceptable.

I definitely remember a time when it was not okay to tell people I read Nora Roberts but it was perfectly acceptable to tell people I read J. D. Robb. Yup, times have changed and they’re still changing. Sex in novels is almost expected now. What’s interesting to me is that I get flack for my novels that don’t have sex in them. They’re seen as not having enough romance. Well, to start they’re not romance novels, but still I don’t think sex is necessary. There’s allusions to sex for sure, and there are fade to black scenes.

What I do want to talk about in this post isn’t specific sex with another person, but sex with oneself. I want to talk about masturbation. Honestly speaking, how many books have to read where there is a masturbation scene? I’ve read a lot of Nora Roberts’ books, and I can say that I don’t remember a single one that has a masturbation scene.

Masturbation is still seen as something dirty, something we do when no one is looking. Come on, people! People masturbate all the time. It’s better than going out and having sex with random strangers. So why isn’t it such a big thing in books? I don’t get it.

There’s this thing called the Merry Month of Masturbation, which I do believe happens in May. During this time, some authors strive to write one story a day that has a masturbation scene in it. I have to say, I’ve never participated mostly because me trying to write a story a day is ridiculous in and of itself, but the concept is very appealing to me.

Masturbation is not something to be frowned upon. It’s exploration of one’s self, of the character, and it really tells a lot about the character. It makes them comfortable in their own body. It makes them aware of their dislikes and likes. It lets them know how to get to that Big O as quickly or as slowly as they want.

Masturbation is about self-discovery. Which, if you think about it, is what every good romance novel is about. Coming from the Christian perspective, there is a huge taboo about masturbation. Sex is acceptable in terms of wanting to procreate (so since I write lesbians, I’m already screwed on that one unless there’s some weird alien thing going on). Masturbation is by all means not acceptable.

We are a Protestant society in the US. I’ve explained this once, but the things related to it in how we think and behave as a society are ridiculous We’re a Protestant society so we don’t like to talk about these things. We don’t like to think about them. We don’t want to teach our children that masturbation is a good thing, that sex feels good. We don’t even want to discuss it with them.

Wouldn’t it be better to talk to your kids about masturbation and keep them in that realm of sexual exploration than letting them try and figure it out with another person and having a whole world of emotional, physical and other things come into the equation? Just saying.

Anyway, masturbation is a taboo subject. I rarely read books where there is a masturbation scene. What’s even more interesting is that if there is a masturbation scene, it’s probably a man. I’ve read many many lesbian books, and I’m trying to recall one that has a masturbation scene in it and I simply can’t. It might be because it’s be awhile since I’ve read some, but that should be a point unto itself.

Masturbation is OKAY! It’s okay to touch yourself and to have your characters touch themselves! It’s an exploration and a lot of times it’s damn sexy to read about.

WIPpet Wednesday! May 21, 2014

Hey all!! Life is good, life is easy! I’m skipping straight to the WIPpet today. =P

Continuing on from last week, a bit more of Amya’s adventures in the shower.

My math is simple. This is the 5th month so you get 5 paragraphs. Yay! So here we go.

She wanted to kiss her way up Grace’s neck, something she’d only done a few times. She wanted to work her way back down and tug her shirt—Amya stopped. Her eyelids flew open and she stared down at the tub to where she’d dropped her loofa. She froze the movements of her hand on her body and took in a deep staggering breath.

What was she doing? She sniffled and moved her hand, feeling as she had betrayed herself, Grace, and their relationship. Amya stepped under the hot spray of the water and washed the suds from the pomegranate body wash off. She leaned down and turned the temperature up, heating her skin until it was red and not pink.

Her body still hummed. It betrayed her more and more with each passing second. She wanted to touch herself, wanted to imagine Grace doing those exact things to her body, making her feel high on pleasure. She wanted Grace to be there.

Amya ignored the tears in her eyes, reminding herself they had a date in a few hours. A date that would never result in touching, but at least they’d be together for a while. Amya took a breath and clenched her teeth.

“Screw it,” she said, her voice echoing in the empty room.

And that’s it folks! My life is crazy right now. In a few weeks I might have some more info for you about what’s going on and where I might be headed. Right now I’m just trying to get my summer scheduled and keep those necessary in the loop of chaos that has struck!

If you are available and willing, there’s still time to sign up for S.A. Snow’s Cover reveal on June 14. If not, S. A. will be having a book tour coming up if you really want to get your hands in that pot. Linky for cover reveal here!

Thanks to the awesome KL Schwengel for hosting this thing each week.

WIPpet Wednesday May 14, 2014

I was having a really hard time deciding whether or not to post a blurb or an excerpt from a short story I wrote this week. I decided to go with the short story. This story isn’t quite a stand-alone. I’ve had it in my head to write outtakes for For by Grace from Amya’s POV, and well…I wrote one. Now I have about 15 of them in my head and listed out, and I’m going this is gonna be a freakin’ novella! Not cool…My publisher just laughed at me when I told her.

So, I wrote the first one, which is not the first on in order, but it was the one I wanted to write. I titled it Trident, which you’d get if I gave you the whole piece.

I have a rafflecopter going right now! If you want to enter! So easy… You can get a whole slew of books from not just me. Here’s the link to the giveaway. a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you don’t know what WIPpet Wednesday is, it’s where a bunch of us writers get together and post excerpts from our WIP (Work in Progress), and then we link them all together and read through them. The only hard fast “rule” is that the excerpt has to correlate with the date in some fantastical way. Today my math is easy. 14 sentences for the 14th of May.

This is the opening to the short.

Amya ran her hands through her hair as she rinsed the conditioner from the long strands. She let the hot water stream down her body, the conditioner running over her legs and down the drain. They had a date that night, one of many that they’d had, but Amya wanted this date to be perfect. Cupping her hands, she filled them with water and ran it over her face.

Grace was gorgeous. Amya hummed as she mentally ran through her partner’s body. Curves that were soft and slender, arms and legs to match. Amya knew Grace worked out on a regular basis, she had to—she was a deputy after all. Amya bit her lip and smiled at the thought. She was dating a cop, which was against regulations and had been off her list in any prospective partner. But there was something about Grace.

Opening her eyes, Amya stared at the green tiles of her shower wall. Heat rushed from her chest to her cheeks and down lower. God—she’d been daydreaming.

If you would like to join, make your own post and head over to KL’s page and link it all up.