Open when you get fired… #loveletters #openwhen

love letterOh love,

My heart breaks for you. This isn’t what you wanted or what I wanted. And it is completely out of our hands. Let me hold you, love. Let me hold you while you cry, while you curse, while you run worries around your head so much that you don’t know where to begin with how to fix what you think is broken.

But we are not broken, love.

You are not broken.

I am here for you and with you, through the thick and through the thin, through the hard times and the good times, through the shitty times and the joyous times. I love you, and that is what matters. I love you through our troubles, through our failures, through our struggles, through every moment of this life together.

Take a breath. We’ll be better than okay.

Open when you’re nervous… #openwhen #loveletters

IMG_6680I know you get nervous, babe. You always get anxious, especially about certain things like school. I want you to take a few deep, calming breaths. Close your eyes and focus only on you and God for a moment. I want you to breathe in God’s presence and let it calm you, relax you, ease your mind and your troubles.

 

Pray. Send up a little prayer to God, say it out loud or silently. Be in an open presence with God and let God take all your worries away. Let God swoop down and save the day and calm you down in ways only God can.

 

When you’re all done with that, go back to whatever you were doing. I imagine and I know that you’ll feel so much better just for taking that little bit of time to be in communion with our Creator. I know your nerves will be eased and your heart will ease; I know you’ll be able to focus more on what you need to focus on. So take the extra time to do it.
I love you, forever and ever.

Open when you have doubts about us… #openwhen #loveletters

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It’s not simple to worry or work through this one. It’s complicated and scary. Very scary for me and probably for you. When you have doubts about us, everything compounds and it’s hard to get out of that thinking. All I can do is to ask you to remember why you thought we could work.

 

Focus on the good, the things we do well together, the complements we make to each other. There are many that I can think of off the top of my head. We’re extremely supportive of each other. We know what it’s like to live in hardship, and we know we don’t want that for our future.

 

We know that we each love each other, that this marriage thing was a big deal for both of us. We had given up on ever finding the one, of ever saying wedding vows, of ever being in a relationship long term. Both of us had given up on that dream. Yet, here we are, barely a year from meeting, married and living a life exactly how we want to live it.
We share dreams. We share ideas for the future. We share goals. We share a love so great it’s hard to knock down. Remember that I love you with my whole heart, love you like have I have never loved anyone else. And you may have doubts, but I hope and pray that your doubts will vanish in the face of what we can build together.

Open when you have doubts about God… #openwhen #loveletters

IMG_6680This one isn’t easy. I’ve watching you in faith since we’ve known each other, and I’ve seen you grow so much. Partly it might be because of my job, but I don’t ever want my work to force you to have doubts. You’ll readily see the good and the bad about faith if you stand by me.

 

But I’ve watched you. I’ve seen you go from being a person of faith in belief only to a person of action. I watched you be baptized. A little over a year ago from my writing it. And it was beautiful to watch. You changed so much when you emerged from those waters. You had a smile on your face the entire night that you couldn’t get rid of. You had this essence about you that was bursting at the seams with light.

 

Then on top of that, you want to be involved. And I can’t think it’s just me and my work. You want to be doing something, to be helping out at church in some way. It doesn’t seem to be because you think it’s your responsibility, but you genuinely want to be doing God’s work.

 

You are doing it. You’re doing it every day when you support me, when you support your coworkers. When you listen to everyone complain, with every face you see come into your job and they know you are a person of faith. You are doing exactly what God asks of each and one of God’s believers.
Your faith has grown exponentially. That means doubts will creep in, but try not to fear them or worry them too much. Doubts are a part of faith, and I know yours is strong.

Open when you feel out of place… #openwhen #loveletters

IMG_6680Babe, don’t worry. I got this one. I know EXACTLY where you place is. It’s right here. See? Right here! Right next to me. Side by side, we have found our place together.

Neither one of us is in front of the other. We’re not the leader or the follower. In some things yes, but together, together we walk the journey in this life. And I saved you a spot. I wanted to save it for you because you are the perfect piece to my puzzle.

Your place is with me, just as much as my place is with you. Life doesn’t seem quite right when you’re not around and not in it.

Open when you feel like giving up on something… #openwhen

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It’s okay to give up. It’s okay to say you can’t do something anymore. It’s okay when the dream you had isn’t exactly the reality you found. It’s hard, and it’s not easy. But I will support you in any and all changes you feel you need to make to your life.

 

If you feel like giving up and it’s something you don’t want to give up on, then power through it. Find that stamina and that stubbornness I know you have deep down inside you and grasp onto it. Hold it. Keep it. Don’t let it go. That is what’s going to get you through.


But don’t be afraid. I’m right here with you. Through every step, every change, every moment of hesitation. I’m right here for you. To talk it out, to listen, to be the support you need. Just let me know.

Open when you need some extra loving… #openwhen

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I want to snuggle with you. Wrap my arms around your middle and press my head to your chest. I want to entwine our legs together and hold on tightly, not letting go for hours. You are my one and only. I can’t tell you that enough.

 

You’re the only one I want and the only one I have ever wanted. All those years without you, all those relationships, I was just searching for something I didn’t know I needed. And I need you. You’re it for me. No matter what, I love you.

 

You’re the love of my life. Remember that. I found you and you found me, and together we’ll be. Through good times and bads. You are the love I never thought I needed to seek, the love I never thought I would have. You’re the one who changed everything.

 

When you love someone, it changes everything. And you did that. So let me do that for you.
I love you, babe. I love you from east to west, from north to south, from the ends of the earth to the center. I love you no matter what.

Open when the distance is too much… #openwhen

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I really wanted to save up enough to put in here so you could buy a ticket to wherever I was. But you know me…not my style. Physical distance is not something you and I deal with easily. We can handle it for a few days, maybe close to a week, but anything longer and it’s really hard for us to be apart.

I’m not sure why other than we are such an integral part of each other that we need the other to function. I love you, more than you will ever know. We’ve done six weeks apart from each other and that was the longest and hardest time we’ve had yet. Remember?

It wasn’t easy, but we got through it. And it was fantastic to see you walking up to my deck and to know you weren’t leaving again. Six weeks of hardship so we could be together for the rest of our lives. Physical distance is hard to work with, it’s hard to keep in touch when we can’t touch. It’s hard to remember what it’s like to kiss you after so many days of going without.

But we will be together again. It’s inevitable. You and I will always and forever be together.

Open when your hurting…

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Let me know what you need. If it’s a hug, a snuggle, a kiss or just a hot cup of tea, or you know, that beer we keep stashed in the basement. Let me know. If you’re hurting, then I want to be there. I want you to feel better.

My heart goes out to you. It aches right along side your heart. If you’re hurting because of something someone else did, let me know. Vent to me, cry to me, yell to me, tell me everything you are feeling. If you’re hurting because of something I did, I’m so very sorry.

The thing about love is that it makes us vulnerable to be hurt by the ones we love. I assure you, whatever I did, I did not mean to hurt you. It’s a consequence of something I did. Once you take time to do whatever you need to do, tell me. Tell me what I did and how it made you feel. Tell me so I won’t do it again.

If you’re hurting, love, I don’t want you to be. I want you to feel loved and filled with joy. I want you to move from hurt to comfort. So tell me how to help you do that. Tell what I need to do so you can find happiness and joy for yourself.

Open when you miss my kisses…

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I wish this wasn’t in electronic form because I’d go get some bright red lipstick and make a kiss on the paper for you. If you miss my kisses, come get one. You know I’m never shy about these things.

A kiss shows so much of the love we share, it’s something sweet and so filled with emotion. You and I have never skimped or really even kissed when there hasn’t been a connection between the both of us.

When you miss my kisses, you might be missing me. And I can’t have that. I’m always here for you, no matter what you need. I always will be here for you, not matter what. Always and forever. So say we all.

We took those vows, and for sure they meant something. I was the one who had to ask you to kiss me that day. I was the one who had to beckon you over to me and get you to press your lips to mine. It was a kiss that sealed a deal we had made close to a year before. We are in love and always will be. When you miss my kisses, remember the first one we shared together, married and united in love.

Remember the first one we ever shared. In the parking garage in Fort Worth–remember it and savor it. Because it was a kiss that showed exactly what was to become of us.

Open when you’re happy… #Openwhen #loveletters

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I love you. I love seeing you smile and those dimples you get in your cheeks. So if you’re really happy and smiling like a maniac, I want you to go find me. Put this letter down, go find me and tell me all about it. Let’s celebrate whatever it is that’s making you happy together.

 

Let’s get some beer and drink them down, guzzling at least two each. Let’s turn off the television, laugh and talk and get to know each other all over again. Let’s go out to a nice meal dedicated solely to each other and celebrating whatever it is making you oh so happy.

 

I want to take the time to spend celebrating. It’s important. It’s crucial to remember and uplift the times are good so the bad times don’t seem so terrible. I love you, so much more than you can probably ever imagine, and I want to make this work. I want to make celebrations the majority of what we remember when we look back on our marriage. I want the happy times to severely outweigh the sad and desolate. I want us not to remember fighting but to remember celebrate.

 

So find me wherever I am, and let me in on the good news. Share with me what you’re feeling and help me to feel it too. Let’s bask in the happiness and let it last as long as it can. These are the moments I want to remember, the ones I want to carry with me through the rest of my life.
These are the moments that make our relationship and that make our love.

Open when you’re lonely… #loveletters #openwhen #love

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I know you get lonely, far more easily than I do. I’m used to being alone and it takes quite a bit of time for my aloneness to turn to loneliness. But for you…you like to have people around. You like to have friends over and to chat and hang out with them far more often than I do.

 

I know loneliness is going to strike somewhere in this year, probably soon. We just moved to the center of the country, and the nature of my job isolates us from the rest of the town. I apologize. I don’t think I prepared you for that at all. I don’t think I was prepared for it, as loneliness has struck me more often than I thought it would.

 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I dragged you out here where we really do have to start over again. I’m sorry it means you’ll have to go through these bouts of loneliness that I can only fix so many times. But please do, please let me know when you’re lonely. Let me know so we can try to do something about it. Let me know so we, you and I, can spend some time together to help stave off the effects of loneliness.
I love you, and that’s not something that can fix everything. It’s a hard truth to come by, but it makes me want to try and bring you as much happiness as I can. I love you, so remember that, and tell me when loneliness has you in its claws and we’ll sit down and watch a movie, or go out to dinner together, or go to town and “get wild” with no one around to see us.

Open when you miss me… #openwhen #loveletters

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I don’t know if the distance is physical or mental both obviously there is a distance. I’ve gone from you and I don’t know why, and I don’t know how long it’s been. Remember that I do love you, so dearly. I never thought I would get married, truly believed it, until I met you. And as soon as we started dating, I knew where we would end up and I knew it wouldn’t be an easy road.

 

If you miss me because I’m gone mentally, it’s going to take some time for me to find my way back. I haven’t lived an easy life, and I grew up with depression as my best friend. It’s hard to let it go, but I do try to only visit a few times a year. Remind me of that, remind me that I’ve been down this road before, and remind me that I’m not alone. You missing me in this case, is probably the best thing that could happen because you missing me is what will help me.

 

If I’m physically gone, that’s tougher. If I’m far away, it’s harder to come see me. If it’s a distance that will end soon, then call me. If it’s a distance that will take a lot of time (like right before we married), then pack your bags and come for a visit. I have no doubt that I’d be missing you just as much.

 

When you miss me, remember all the good times we had–those times when we couldn’t stop laughing. Remember when we forgot it was our anniversary, went on a date and remembered halfway through it what day it was? Remember when I came home to hundreds of daisies? Remember when we went to Hot Springs and tried to fish in a lake while it was freezing rain out? Remember walking around the gardens in Hot Springs? Remember the concert in Little Rock? Remember going on our first brewery hop together?

 

Remember our coffee date the morning of our wedding?
Let those fill you up, let them bring me closer to you until I can once again be with you in mind and in spirit, until I can step into your open arms and wrap my hands around you in a hug. Let them tide you over until you no longer have to miss me.

Open when you’re mad at me

I know I’m going to piss you off at some point. God knows I have before, so I definitely will again. I’m hard headed, stubborn, but most importantly, when I knows I piss you off the most is when I’m scared.

 

So ask me if I’m scared, and when I initially say no, let it sink it and ask again a bit later. My fear puts up defenses that make me push you away. My fear is what causes us to argue the most. And I’m not good that letting people see my fears, even you.

 

When you’re mad at me, remember that I do love you. I wouldn’t have joined in the venture of marriage for anyone but you. It’s not going to be easy. We are both really, really stubborn, and not to outdo you, but I’m probably the more stubborn of the two of us.

 

When you’re mad at me, take some time to figure yourself out. And then confront me. Do it gently without anger in your voice and my defenses will be lowered. Do it with kindness in your words and an open mind for what I might say.

 

It’s mostly the little things that anger me, so if I’m mad at you, which is thus causing you to be mad at me, then be patient. I know it’s a virtue for both of us ( that’s sarcasm if you couldn’t read that in there), but do try to be patient with me.
And remember, lastly, when you’re angry with me, I do love you, and I wouldn’t want to be married or on this spectacular journey with anyone else.

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Open when you need to know I love you…

When you need to know I love you know that I wait for you each day you work or go to school, smiling as soon as I know you’re near and here. Know that I can’t get enough of you each and every day. Know that each night I struggle to sleep if you are not in my bed, that without a goodnight kiss I feel empty and unbalanced.

Know that each day that passes, I feel so lucky and blessed to have God place you in my life. Know that you are now what my life revolves around, even if it doesn’t always seem that way. Know that I have never cared this deeply for another person, that you made all the difference in allowing me to love.

Know that you are the reason I know I will be smiling each and every day, laughing and enjoying everything life has to offer. Know that you are my whole world. Know that when I travel and am gone even for one night, I miss you desperately. Know that even just a text puts a smile on my face, reminding me of just how much you love me.

Know that I love you with my whole heart even if I’m mad, frustrated or sad. Know that my love for you continues to grow each passing second. Know that my love for you surpasses anything I have ever experienced. Know that you are my one and only. Know that I love you so deeply. Know that I love you so much I can’t express it in a cacophony of words. Know that I love every little quirk you have. Know that I love your morning noises. Know that I love your excitement over movies. Know that I love that you love spending time with me, even if it is on separate couches watching television.

Know that I never want to be alone–I always want to be with you. Know that I love that you would do almost anything for me. Know that I love that you stand up for me, I love you so much for this. Know that I love you for making me laugh, for making me smile, for making me enjoy life in a way I never thought was possible.

Know that you are my best friend and know that I will always, always love you.

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These letters are intended for my significant other; however, I thought to share our love with all the world. All couples go through good times and bad, and we need to feel open enough to talk about life’s problems. These “open when” letters are intended to be opened and to be an opening. I plan on giving these letters to my significant other on our first wedding anniversary, September 6, 2015. You will find a letter posted here each week. If you have any suggestions for topics, leave a comment below. I have 52 planned out, one for each week of the year, but love never plays by a timeline.