I’m currently writing a novel that has a lot of trauma for one of my main characters happening within it, not only that, but it is very clear she has experienced similar trauma before. There’s something peculiar about trauma for sure. Trauma changes us. It changes the way we think and the way we behave.
I had this novel planned before my long absence from writing. I outlined it in 2016. In fact, it’s based off a fanfiction I wrote in early 2012 and throughout the rest of that year. So this piece of work has been on my mind and heart for a long time.
I put my character through the ringer, during this book, in other words.
I can’t help but notice the similarities in my own life now. None of this was the case when I first wrote it or plotted it out now, but as I rewrite and make it more my own, the similarities are stark. Mostly the emotion.
There is an intense amount of grief and mourning that comes with trauma. Sure, there’s the pain and the outrage at what happened. The shock. But the grief comes later. It comes when all of that has calmed down, and there this loss. Loss of stability, loss of innocence, loss of safety that can’t be compared with.
In 2018, I nearly died. Like…they had to shock me to get me back and gave me 11 units of blood total after I had my daughter. That changes a person. It morphs the way I think and feel and look at the world. I look at it from a whole different place.
With Faye, this character I put through the ringer, I’m really resonating with that in her. It’s the first time I’ve written her that it’s been easy to write her. She’s by far the hardest character for me. She’s crazy, she has very little restraint in what she says and does, she isn’t quite sure on ethics and morals, and she came into this world unwanted and completely alone. None of which I can readily relate to.
But this I can. This is something I think a lot of us can relate to. Not only the changes within ourselves but the changes in our relationships. Faye and Molly were in a pretty decent spot when we left them in Unbound but this just throws them for a whole new loop, and it comes into question whether or not they will recover from it. They’re trying. Both of them. But they just seem to be missing the mark a lot of the time.
I really can’t wait for you all to read this story and to actually know what I’m talking about. I don’t want to spoil a bunch of it for you! Faye’s past trauma comes to bite her in the ass just as much as the new trauma, and Molly’s failures and fears as well. It’s a non-stop cycle of oh my god, what now, and we need to do something about this.
Really, can’t wait!