I haven’t been around this year much at all. And there’s really no excuse except I haven’t been in the mood. I’ve wanted to be here. I certainly miss writing and miss my writing friends. But so much in life is changing right now. Last year I wrote enough to publish four novels and three short stories in one year, this year I’ve only written enough for one book and short story, which is a scary scary concept.
I use my writing money to help pay off my student loans faster, so the prospect of having no extra is daunting and sad at the same time. But that’s not the only thing. Writing is an outlet for me. It’s a stress-reliever, a place where I can go and lose myself, and since really January, I haven’t done any consistent writing. I used to get up at about 5:30 in the morning, every morning, and type away, but the typing hasn’t been happening, and starting in about June, the early morning stopped.
My motivation has just been slacking. My timing has been off. Add in to all this a new pregnancy. A new pregnancy that isn’t so new anymore. Next week, I start my third trimester. That first one knocked me off my feet in a not good way. Yes, we were trying. No, we did not think it would happen that fast. The nausea and vomiting and exhaustion was almost more than I could handle. Then I hit my second trimester. And morning sickness went away, but I had to catch up with my day job.
I’m still catching up. But it’s November, and I couldn’t resist the call to NaNoWriMo, to the one thing that got me started in actually writing and finishing novels. I had at one point debated on being an ML, and I’m glad I didn’t even contemplate the application this year. Perhaps next year. November is a busy time of the year for me. Work picks up, this year is slower because of some things, by slower I mean delayed. Most of the planning I should have already done, but I haven’t even actually started it.
But I’m writing. This morning I woke up about 6 and started typing about 6:45. I’ve done about 2400 words in that short span. I started something new, something that came to me on one of my many long drives. I have a two stories outlined already, yet I chose to write one where I have no freakin’ clue where the story is going. For some reason, I like it. I’ll probably send a good amount of time this week outlining the novel itself, but for now, it’s all in my head.
Writing is relaxation. Without it, I’m not sure I could survive as well. My spouse keeps yelling at me to write, and it hasn’t been happening. Well, today I proudly sent that text, “I’m writing” and got a very enthusiastic “Yay!” back.
For now, I’ll leave you with this. Don’t ever give up on your dreams. Don’t ever make your dreams work for you.