I love Halloween. I love Pumpkins. I absolutely love pumpkins more than Halloween. Recently my boyfriend and I adopted a little girl husky. I say little, but she’s almost 50lbs, so she’s not that little (sorry for those who don’t use our weight system, but I’m way too lazy this morning to convert it for you). We named her Roslin after Laura Roslin in Battlestar Galactica! She’s a total sweetheart, calmest dog ever, so well trained, and just over a year old. She was found on the streets as a stray. Go figure.
So beyond that amazing sidenote. Still struggling. Will push through. Hating work right now. =P Awesome. Now, onto the WIPpet.
If you would like to join in! Please do! Write a post with your current WIP (Work In Progress) that somehow correlates with the date. Feel free to get really creative with the math. Since I’m in the process of not writing *cough* I chose to yet again write for ten minutes and post what I had. This is a direct continuation of last week and the week before. So if you want, go look those up! Once you write your post, then go link it up with the rest of them here. Make sure to read and comment on as many posts as you can. We’re all attention and “review” whores, so it makes us feel fantabulous when you do it.
Grace just got smashed into the car by the punk, remember? Well…here’s some more of Grace’s really horrible and not good day. (I title these chapters, so I really do need to come up with some good titles. Feel free to give suggestions!)
Grace popped four ibuprofen as soon as she sat back in her cruiser, glowering the entire time. If this was any indication about her day, then it was not going to be a good one. She rubbed her leg where the punk had kicked her and winced. Four months prior she’d broken her leg in an attempt on her life. A bad guy in a stolen cruiser had run her off the road, spinning her vehicle five times before she rolled to a stop.
Shaking her head, Grace stared at Toulouse’s car. The punk was nestled in the back seat and the punk’s mama was being arm wrestled down the road toward her. Apparently in her lapse of judgment, leaving the scene meant she would have to take the woman down to the jail. Growling low and in the back of her throat, Grace got out of her cruiser and unlocked the backseat.
“Any way I can get out of this?” she asked Toulouse.
“Nope.”
Rolling her eyes, Grace helped shove the woman in the back seat. After a brief pause and Toulouse leaving, Grace leaned over the open door and spoke to the large whale-like woman.
“Ma’am. I want you to listen closely. I’m taking you down to the jail.”
“Oh no you ain’t.”
“I’m taking you down to the jail and arresting you for domestic assault. Any other questions and the corrections officers will answer them.”
Before the woman could speak again, Grace slammed the door shut and spun on her heel, ignoring the spark of pain in her leg. If she could give off the perception of being strong, then she was strong. She was just about to turn to Toulouse to ask him a question when a Ford F150 turned the corner and gunned its engine.
Stepping back, Grace glared as it started to come closer and passed their vehicles without even slowing down. She scoffed and turned to follow the trucks progress. It made it to the end of the block, not stopping at the stop sign and speeding away. The two other officers that had arrived jumped into their cruisers and missed it.
Grace’s eyes widened as she watched the six-year-old black boy dodge out into the street without looking. Her heart thudded hard in her chest and the back of her head, and she tripped over her boot as she took the first step forward. Grabbing for her radio against her shoulder, Grace depressed the button and called for paramedics.
The truck didn’t stop. Grace started forward, running as fast as she could down the street. The two cruisers took off after the suspect and were completely out of sight by the time Grace made it to the gasping boy. She pressed her hands against his cheeks and stared at him fully in the face.
“I got you, kid,” she whispered and started to analyze his injuries.
Broken leg for sure. His thigh was pressed at an awkward angle, jutting out from his body toward the sidewalk he had just run from. Blood leaked slowly from his nose and quickly from a cut on the side of his head. His arm was broken; Grace felt the break when she ran her fingers along his oily skin.
“You’re going to be okay,” she muttered.
Adrian J. Smith 
This post makes me enormously happy. I LOVE HER. I think she loves you too. :)
Also, I plan to join in once I get going as I enjoy the tidbits!
Yay!!!!!
Aw, what a cutie! Totally wiped your snippet out of my brain. *g* I think you should have posted the dog pics first. :D
No, really, I thought the scene was great, lots of tension, lots of action. The only thing that threw me out was when Grace referred to the “bad guy” — I think “guy” is probably enough. :)
Lol I literally just wrote it. Didn’t even check for typos. =P I tried to put the dog pictures first but u was on my phone and it was way too complicated.
Sheesh. Poor Grace can’t catch a break. My only nitpick, this bit feels like an short info dump. Based on what I’ve seen you write in the past, I think you can weave this info in a little smoother: “Four months prior she’d broken her leg in an attempt on her life. A bad guy in a stolen cruiser had run her off the road, spinning her vehicle five times before she rolled to a stop.”
Maybe hint at it? Brief flashback. Have another person ask her about it. I’m sure you’ll come up with something great. :)
I might just take it out and have it be explained in the first chapter. This is just the prologue. I didn’t really like it either.
you didn’t mention you adopted her!! ohhh, what a sweetie!! Great tension in the scene. For a working title, maybe something like ‘When the bad gets worse’ or something, because those were the thoughts running through my head when she runs to check out the injuries on the boy who got hit.
Hmmm maybe.
YOU have an INFODUMP? I thought I was the only one who did that. Ha! I get joy out of that just as much as when I get to tell you that you used passive voice. Cute puppy. Great excerpt. I love Grace.
Lol my info dump of one sentence or two doesn’t really compare to paragraphs of it.
Cute doggy!
Sheesh! What a shift! Poor little boy. :-( Is he going to make it?
=P I could be mean and say I’m not telling but yes he is going to make it.
Thank you for your mercy. :-P
PUPPYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
*whew*
Great tension in the excerpt. I agree about “bad guy” not sounding like a phrase a cop would use (I know my husband uses far less pleasant terms for people like that), but great draft!
Oh Grace does too!!
Don’t want to overdo it but that’s what editings for.
And yes!! Puppy!!!
Well, since others have noticed the infodump, I’ll not say more there, but….
HUSKY! (sorry… I love huskies, I adore huskies, I… I should be talking about your WIPpet, but…. but Husky!)
Oh, and… by this time if I were Grace, I would be completely numb to the possibility that others might see me as weak. I’d just be in the moment and not thinking about anything else… even my own pain.
Not just Husky….but Pusky Huppy! =D
Made me think of your Nina, and my Bunko (for those eyes,even though his came via Aussie DNA).
Sorry,Adrian -really, I will comment on the WIPpet too….but, yeah…….PUPPY LOVE!!!!!!
My puppy grewed up, and now he’s edging into old-man territory, although he still forgets sometimes….
Roslin is about a year and a half but she’s so calm!!
Roslin is adorable! What a sweet looking girl. :)
Wow. Grace just gets it shoved at her by the bucket-full, doesn’t she? Glancing back I can see others have commented on ‘bad guy’, so I’ll leave it be. Pretty much Jae nailed what I was thinking. Hmm…see what happens when I can’t get to comment for a few days?
Lol yeah. There are advantages to commenting right away.
Such a pretty puppy!
Ooof! Poor Grace! And poor kiddo!
This is a really gruesome suggestion, I would add a bit more about the boy being hit. Was he just clipped? Did he go underneath the truck or over it?
He was just clipped so not a big deal. There’s more about him to finish it up. There will be lots of other gruesome stuff later on. I promise. =D
As a mom, I couldn’t really focus on anything after that little boy ran into the street – I got to him way before Grace did, heart in my throat, worrying about the blood driipping from his nose. I want to put something under his head and sing to him now….
Very vivid, and very real, that part.
That is a lot of good, for ten minutes!D